You know, one of those thoughts that makes you squint your eyes and go, “Huh, I never thought about that before.” I began to wonder—is religion just a really well-designed patriarchy? I know, I know, this sounds like the beginning of a very controversial dinner conversation, and you’re probably mentally preparing your defence against what’s to come. Before you start writing men off completely, remember—you probably have a father. So, hold your horses and remember, we’re not here to bash men, okay? After all, they are someone’s father, brother, or—gulp—husband. So, while I’m diving into this, let’s agree to keep the fire and pitchforks at bay. It’s all about a little healthy conversation. Anyway, back to the point. I realized, with a startling amount of clarity, that everywhere I looked—society, culture, religion—it’s all a man’s world. As a woman, I’m used to seeing gender-based restrictions, but there’s something especially wild about how these limitations pop up in religious contexts. So, naturally, I went down the rabbit hole of researching how women are treated in religion, and oh boy, what I found might just have you questioning whether religion itself is a tool for the patriarchy. Let’s start with Christianity, which—surprise, surprise—has more restrictions for women than I initially realized.
Let’s kick things off with the classic “no women in leadership” rule. Ever noticed how there are barely any female priests or pastors? Huh, how convenient. Turns out, this comes from some very specific biblical verses in 1 Timothy 2 and 1 Corinthians, where women are told to remain silent and not take leadership roles in church. Now, some folks argue that these passages were specific to the culture of the time or certain churches (Corinthians, anyone?), but let’s be real here—no matter how you slice it, the leadership pie has been cut so that only men get a piece.
This is why when you walk into church, you’re more likely to see a male pastor preaching fire and brimstone than a woman up there, leading a powerful sermon on a Sunday morning. Talk about a boy’s club. Of course, some argue this is just cultural context from biblical times, but hey, when was the last time we saw a female pope? Just saying.
Now, here’s where things get really juicy—the S word. No, not that one. I’m talking about “submission.” You know, that lovely little word that gets tossed around in Ephesians 5 to make sure women understand their “place.” But have you ever noticed how men love to bring up submission in marriage, but rarely mention what the Bible says about their responsibilities? I mean, the verse directly after “wives, submit to your husbands” is all about how husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the church—sacrificially and with immense care. But somehow, when it’s brought up in everyday life, you just hear, “Submit!”—with no mention of the husband’s part in the deal.
Like Harry Potter and the audacity of someone asking for submission when they can’t even submit to their own responsibilities—like, say, respecting their spouse. A man should not be asking for submission when he’s acting like a toddler who can’t pick up his dirty socks. Let’s start with mutual respect, and then maybe we can talk about the rest. Men out here are demanding submission while bringing nothing but audacity to the table. Listen, if you’re broke, disrespectful, unkind, and generally useless, please don’t embarrass yourself by asking for submission. It’s giving delusion.
Let’s talk about the dress code, shall we? Ever been to mass and noticed that women are encouraged to cover their hair? Not just that, they’re also discouraged from wearing pants. God forbid a woman show up to church in something as scandalous as pants, right? I mean, I totally get it—pants are the epitome of rebellion, and covering your hair is clearly a divine act of virtue. But seriously, we’re living in a world where women can’t even wear pants to church.
And let’s not even get started on the “modesty” argument. In 1 Timothy, women are encouraged to dress modestly, but have you noticed that what’s “modest” keeps changing depending on who’s defining it? Some churches make it so strict that you feel like you’re walking into a fashion show with one wrong move. Let’s just say, you won’t find anyone rocking a mini skirt or spaghetti straps in those sacred halls. But hey, if your church doesn’t care about your pants, more power to you. Just remember to pray hard when it’s minus 40 degrees Celsius outside and you’ve got to trek to church in a skirt. (I mean, talk about a test of faith.)Personally, I do think people should dress appropriately for the occasion, but if someone else’s outfit makes you uncomfortable, maybe the problem isn’t them—it’s you.
Now, this one is a gem—gender roles. If you’ve ever seen a man who can’t cook, clean or function without a woman picking up the slack for him, you’ve probably encountered a prime example of religious patriarchy at work. Who do I blame? Their mothers. Listen, I’m all for nurturing, but raising a man who doesn’t know how to do laundry or feed himself is a disservice to humanity. Seriously, there are grown men out here who rely entirely on women to manage their household. And don’t even think about asking them to pitch in—because that’s when you’ll be hit with the classic weaponized incompetence move. The audacity! I mean, if you can’t even make yourself a sandwich, how do you expect to lead in any capacity?
Honestly, we’ve got to raise men who can handle their own laundry, cook a decent meal, and—heaven forbid—do the dishes without making it feel like an international crisis. It’s called balance, people! Marriage isn’t a dictatorship; it’s a partnership. So beautiful ladies, if you have sons, let’s do the world a favour and raise them to be self-sufficient. Also, if you leave your clothes on the floor, don’t be shocked if I throw them in the trash. Clearly, you didn’t need them anyway. And men, please note that it’s totally okay to take on the nighttime baby duty while your wife gets a full night’s sleep. Trust me, you won’t die from the experience.
So the one thing the Catholic Church won’t allow you to have been drumroll – A Divorce. Not only that, but if you’ve been married before, you can’t remarry unless you get an annulment, and neither can you marry a divorcee—an almost impossible task. However, in some churches and religious groups, women can’t get divorced while men, on the other hand, get a free pass, and can divorce their wives for well whatever reason they want—even if it’s something as trivial as “I don’t like her new haircut.” Now, according to Matthew 19 lays out the laws for divorce but there’s a major discrepancy between the Old and New Testaments. In the Old Testament, women couldn’t initiate divorce, but men could. In the New Testament, both sexes are restricted, but you can get divorced for adultery.y But here’s where it gets murky. Women are expected to stay in abusive relationships simply because their husbands haven’t committed adultery. But let’s be real—no one talks about how women are often trapped in toxic marriages because the church won’t let them leave unless adultery is involved. Meanwhile, men get a free pass. If you leave your husband for any reason (even abuse), some churches will excommunicate you. side eye- so much for community and love. Many women have been pressured to stay in terrible marriages because their suffering wasn’t considered “biblically justified.” Meanwhile, a divorced man? He’s still respected. A divorced woman? Cue the excommunication.
This one floored me. I heard a story about a woman whose husband refused to sleep in the same bed with her during her period. I mean, come on, is it my fault I’m bleeding for five days? And then you want me to do everything around the house? Nah. As if the cramps, mood swings, and general misery weren’t enough, now I have to sleep alone? Honestly, if baby boy pulled that nonsense, I’d let him stay in the guest room permanently. This is rooted in Leviticus 15, where menstruation is considered “impure”. But guess what? Jesus didn’t carry that rule into the New Testament. Still, many religions and cultures still isolate women during their periods. Imagine being stuck in a room for a week with no interaction. For real? But honestly, if I have Wi-Fi, I might not even complain.
The religious influence on gender roles extends far beyond church walls. Even in the workplace, men are more likely to be hired, promoted, and taken seriously. Why? Because men are naturally selfish, they prioritize themselves without worrying about how their actions affect others. Women, on the other hand, tend to think about everyone else before making a move. If women suddenly decided to adopt men’s level of selfishness, the world would descend into absolute chaos. And honestly? I’d love to watch it unfold.
So, what’s the verdict? Is religion inherently patriarchal? The evidence certainly seems to suggest so. But here’s the thing—patriarchy thrives because people allow it to. While religious institutions may be slow to change, individuals can challenge outdated norms in their own lives. If we want true equality, it starts with questioning the rules, demanding better, and making sure we’re not just accepting restrictions because “that’s the way it’s always been.” Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some laundry to pretend I don’t know how to do.